When Your Emotions Make You Reach For Food…

In this blog we’ll unlock the power of emotions and how they shape your relationship with food. I’ll share insights into emotional triggers that may drive your eating habits and you’ll learn some effective coping strategies to help you gain control over those emotional eating patterns.

Take a look at the list of questions below and answer them honestly. Keep track of how many “yes” answers you give to the questions below. 

• Do you often find yourself turning to food as a way to cope with emotions (such as stress, sadness or boredom)?
• Do you eat more than usual when you are feeling stressed?
• Do you notice a change in your desire or need to eat when you experience sadness, anger, loneliness, anxiety or other negative emotions?
• Do you eat to feel better (to calm and/or soothe yourself when you are anxious, stressed, angry, bored, or sad)?
• Are there specific emotions that trigger your desire to eat?
• Are you unaware of your emotions when you eat? 
• Do you eat to reward yourself?
• Do you frequently experience guilt or regret after eating during or in response to an emotional state?
• Have you ever eaten more than you intended to eat due to emotional reasons?
• Do you tend to seek out specific types of food when you are feeling emotional (like ice cream or other sweet treats, potato chips or pizza)?
• Do you find yourself eating without conscious awareness?
• Do you ever feel out of control around food?
• Have you noticed patterns or trends in your emotional eating? For example, do certain situations or events trigger the desire to eat?
• Do you struggle to distinguish between physical hunger and emotional hunger?
• Does eating during emotional moments provide you with the same level of satisfaction (at least for a moment) as eating when you are physically hungry?
• When feeling “emotional” do you eat even when you’re full or not really physically hungry. 

If you answered “yes” to 7 or more of these questions, chances are that you may in fact be an emotional eater.

What is emotional eating anyway? Emotional eating refers to using food as a way to cope with or soothe emotions, rather than eating in response to actual physiological hunger. Based on my own experience as well as working with others, all of us tend to be emotional eaters in one regard or another. But emotional eating becomes a problem when food is the primary or only coping mechanism for dealing with emotions.

You’ll recognize emotional eating because you most likely crave specific foods when you are upset and you aren’t physically hungry. Usually it’s junk food that we crave, such as  ice cream, pizza, and other so called “comforting” but generally unhealthy foods. We typically eat those unhealthy snacks only to find that nothing quite changes the way we feel. In fact, it can make us feel like we have no control over our food intake, and generally results in continued compulsive eating, never to find the satisfaction, safety or happiness we seek. 

Sure, we may feel comforted or satisfied when we obliterating that box of cookies or bag of chips, but it doesn’t end there. After the emotional eating binge is over, it usually leaves us feeling worse. We feel guilt, shame, regret and frankly more emotional distress, and in the long run it most always leads to weight gain! 

Even though we know that using food as a way to numb or distract us from uncomfortable emotions, or seeking temporary relief we also know deep down inside that it wont make the emotion go away. Yet…we binge eat anyway. 

And when it’s totally out of control, it can interfere with daily functioning, relationships and overall quality of life. Any of that sounding familiar? Here’s the truth, emotional eating really only suppresses our feelings, it doesn’t change them. When we numb ourselves with food (or any other vice really), it’s to avoid the emotions that we’d rather not feel. So the best way to move beyond emotional eating, is to confront it by figuring out what triggers us and then develop effective coping strategies instead of turning to food for comfort. 

The triggers will vary from person to person as each of us is unique and we all have different emotional and psychological experiences and patterns. That said, I’ve identified some common triggers that can lead to emotional eating as follows:

• Stress: I find that this is one of the most common triggers for emotional eating. When we feel overwhelmed, anxious or under pressure in any way, we might turn to food as a way to comfort ourselves or distract from our emotions.
• Sadness, hurt and loneliness: Feeling sad, hurt or lonely can trigger emotional emptiness that can lead to compulsive eating to fill the void. Food may temporarily provide a sense of pleasure or company, but in the end it leads to guilt, regret and most of the time, make us feel worse than we did before we started eating.
• Boredom: Feeling bored can create a desire for stimulation and eating becomes a source of entertainment or distraction.
• Anxiety and nervousness: Feeling nervous or anxious can trigger emotional eating as a way to seek temporary relief. 
• Anger, resentment and frustration: You might turn to food as a way to release or numb the negative emotions of irritability, anger and/or frustration.
• Childhood Habits/Rewards and Celebrations: Think back to your childhood. Did your parents reward good behavior with food? Maybe you got a good report card and you were rewarded with pizza. Or maybe you were given sweets when you felt sad or when you fell off your bicycle and skinned your knee. Or maybe it’s the special memories of BBQ-ing and eating burgers with your Dad or baking and eating cookies with your Mom. In addition to childhood habits, food is often associated with positive experiences and celebrations (e.g., birthday cake). Emotional eaters may turn to food as a reward or to celebrate. 
• Social Influence: Gatherings, parties, or outings with friends and family can lead to emotional eating. Peer pressure, the desire to fit in, or the availability of food in social situations can contribute to mindless or emotional eating. Or maybe someone encourages you to indulge “just this one time.” But we know that one time leads to many more times because if we are socially active, there’s lots of opportunity to indulge. And sometimes it’s just easier to go along with the group than to let others  down by rejecting their special dishes.
• Unpleasant memories or trauma: Painful memories or traumatic experiences can sometimes trigger emotional eating as a means to self-soothe or escape from unpleasant thoughts. 

 

Recognize your triggers:  This takes work. You need to pause and tune in to really knowing how and why you feel the way you do about things, as you reach for that bag of cookies or chips. Honestly if you have been an emotional eater for a long time, you may be completely out of touch you’re your authentic emotions.  Stop, take a few deep breaths and identify what you are feeling and why. Is it boredom? Stress? Anxiety? Loneliness? Maybe it’s something else from the list of 8 above or maybe it’s something entirely different. Identifying your triggers can help you be more aware of your patterns and develop strategies to manage those triggers.

Journaling is a great strategy to help work through identifying the things we’d rather not feel. Both journaling (and meditation) is how I was able to “dig deep” into myself to identify my own triggers. If you don’t know your triggers, how can you even start to overcome them? 

A good way to start is to think about certain situations or circumstances that drive you to reach for food. Then, starting with the list above determine which of the triggers cause a reaction in your body or heart. Those will be the triggers that you most identify with. Then in your journal, do some writing about the circumstances or situations that make you reach for food and why you think you feel the way you feel and what makes you think food is the answer.

For me, I identified a lot triggers from childhood situations and food as reward/celebration, and that carried over into my adult life. I also identified social situations, and of course boredom and stress situations that led me to emotional eating. As I write that, I realize that I probably never shared that publicly before. Ouch. But, the good news, is that if I can overcome it, so can you!

It’s not easy and it’s not fast, but it is super helpful in understanding yourself and what is driving your eating behaviors. Don’t judge yourself, just be honest with yourself, write freely and let those thoughts and emotions flow onto the page. Honestly, just letting go of some of those thoughts in your mind can be helpful in and of itself as journaling is a form of release. 

 

Practice mindful eating: Knowing your body is key here. I developed a more mindful eating practice by paying attention to the physical sensations of hunger and fullness, savoring each bite when I do eat, really chewing my food (till its mush) and eating without distractions. All of which can help you become more attuned to your body’s needs and differentiate between physical hunger and emotional hunger. 

Also be mindful of your hunger level. If you aren’t really hungry and your stomach isn’t growling, yet you find yourself reaching for a snack, try waiting 15 minutes, drink a glass of water, go for a walk, brush your teeth or make a cup of hot tea instead.

 

Find alternative coping mechanisms: I found different ways to deal with emotions rather than turning to food. Activities such as regular daily exercise (yoga, walking in nature, a bike ride, whatever it is for you), journaling, meditation, deep breathing, gardening, painting or phoning a friend can be great alternatives. You might also take up a hobby. This is about building a new habit that doesn’t include food. 

 

Build a support network: I found that surrounding myself with supportive friends and family, who could provide encouragement, understanding and accountability as I worked  through emotional eating challenges was a huge help. You might find the support you need by working with a coach, support group or pastor. 

 

Establish a well-rounded meal plan that includes only nutritious foods: This was paramount to my success. It helped me ensure that my body received the heathy nutrients it needs. I learned to think of food as fuel and that single thought changed everything for me. Just like I wouldn’t put regular gas in a car that requires premium fuel, I no longer filled my body (my tank) with less than optimum fuel. It was game changing for me to flip that switch in my head!

 

Discover stress management techniques: Regular (daily) physical exercise such as, yoga, deep breathing, meditation definitely help me better manage stress and greatly reduce the likelihood of me turning to food for comfort.

 

Practice self-care: Engage in self-care activities that promote relaxation, rejuvenation and compassion. Do things that make you feel good. What does that look like for you? Is it’s taking a hot bubble bath, reading a book, listening to music, journaling, spending time in nature, exercising, digging in the dirt, or getting a massage? Self care is not selfish. 

As emotional eaters, we know from our own experience that emotional eating doesn’t fix emotional issues and often makes us feel worse due to regret, guilt or seeming lack of control as a result of over indulging on the wrong foods when we aren’t hungry.

At the start of my own journey, I once read something online that really stuck with me. I can’t for the life of me remember where I read it and I don’t recall the exact quote, but I mention it because it was one of those “ah-ha” moments for me. The gist of it was that in order to heal our emotional eating, we need to face our stuff instead of stuffing our face! Just think about those words for a minute. What painful, traumatic, or difficult things in your life are you choosing not to face? Try journaling about whatever that thing is for you so you can start to release it.

Overcoming emotional eating (or even intending to do so) is a big step forward in getting healthy and slimming down in the process. It’s a journey that takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself, celebrate small wins (not with food) and don’t lose your focus. I did it and got healthy and lost 140 pounds in the process! 

Finally, if you are having a hard time conquering this challenge yourself, definitely don’t be shy or embarrassed about asking for help. Seek professional support from a therapist or healthcare professional. Alternatively getting support from a coach, friend or family member can also be very helpful and may be more affordable. Just be clear about what you need from others. Maybe it’s just someone to listen, or a shoulder to cry on? Maybe it’s someone to share your darkest secretes with (side note, a dog is a great source of support especially when it comes to sharing secretes)? Maybe it’s someone to hold you accountable or hold your hand? Or maybe you need some tough love? Whatever that help looks like for you just know that it’s perfectly understandable, OK and helpful to ask for the help you need.

If you are interested in working with someone who’s been there, click HERE to drop me a note and let’s see how I can help!

The journey to a healthier, happier you is so worth it. I know—because I lived it. I stopped chasing skinny and started focusing on my health—and that single shift changed everything. I lost 140 pounds, but more importantly, I found clarity, energy, and a life that finally feels like mine. I share the whole story in my book. Click HERE to learn more, as this might just be the next best first step for you!